heart-of-the-stronghold

2008-02-02T21:58:00.000+08:00

what is it like to blog?
just picking up some of my books to study when i felt like blogging...
haha

wanted to swim today, but there's no sun =/

the exams has totally disorientated my life...

random updates:

-last paper on tues =)
-posted to SICC for attachments (how to get there?)
-i've bought a nike low dunk pro SB
-plans to get bigger by half my size (pls dont ask why -i dont know)

besides that... i'm really bored...
catch me if u can...

oh, ya.. i want to make a wish list too..
and then i can remember not to forget them.. hmmm..

well its for me to get, dont worry..
if u wanna get for me its fine too haha.. its not a demand list... (sorry avanna tan)
just random nonsense...
thats why there arent pictures... =p

1. Camera
2. Dumbells
3. A few sets of polo tees
4. Bagpack (that suits me) -its really hard to find =(
5. Colongue (i dont spend that on myself)

-thats enough for now...

2007-09-13T01:26:00.000+08:00

its been a while since i'm back here eh?
haha, and who's the target audience?

have you ever felt tired of the victories that you've won?
or is it after countless victories you have conqure,
what is the point of not having someone to share it with..

its an empty feelin that consumes the look of your throphys..

is it true that the older you go, the lesser friends u have?
perhaps people learn how to become more and more fake as the grow older..

what is there to impress?
so that u will become special?
to find your identity?

ppl like you because of your hobbies or interest..
thats just so skin deep..

oh well.. u shall provide, i'm still waiting..

2007-06-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

hey man.. how are u doing?
still hanging on to smth that isnt worth?
or are u just pretending to move on...

well boy, i tell you this,
bless your little eyes to widen up and see,
even if u havent move on, she did...

un-hope yourself that she will miss you,
dont think she has made you her world,
like you have made her yours..

smarter up, to see that its no longer about you..
OH WAIT, IT NEVER WAS...

you were there, but it has always been about someone else...
people that you honour came to the books of disgrace at an instance..

"i'm bored with this blog...
so am i with your flirts...
it is finished..
dont ever revive it again..."

"youdonthavetotalktomeanoymore,
gofindthosethatmakeyouHIGH"

2007-06-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

why do you look so sad?
why do you lick your wounds?
why do you take in those arrows?
why do you swallow those blood?
why do you not sell her out?
why do you still stand by?

beacause i "loved" her...

-given a thousand years she will not change... (not for you)
-she will smith you where your heart is at the least..
-she shall step upon you and your name shall be forgotten..
-your face shall be of a stranger's in her eyes..
-she will infratrate into your circle of friends..
-taking what she needs, you are left aside...

you are merely a stepping stone, a foothold, a brick to her intendment..
you are not the object, just another line in her book...

unfortunate but true,
what the ancients has warned you, it has forcome...
your foolish heart has sold you out...
what has pleased your ears and eyes, have now hurt your heart...

NOW,
will you stand and rise forth?
will you awaken to not relive your tragedy?
will you take courage for your heart to be mended?
will you face your broken heart?
will you justify the ones that care for you?

finally....
ask if she's ever worth it...

dont let her pierce your heart again....

2007-05-16T00:43:00.000+08:00

guess only when the stars cry the blackest tears will this heart of the stronghold be visited...

holding back no more... truth is, it hurts everytime i say; "its alright"... it hurts everytime i smile... it hurts to think that i belived it was smth special...

now i really know that i'm nothing than a line in yor book...

-"if you cant take it den leave"

sorry, u're right.. i cant take to hurt myself everytime i see what i thought was for me only but was meant for others too...
i cant take it... i'll go...

i dont want to be just a line in your booK...
i rather be out of your books...
which makes me feel better if u hate me...

i cant give you what you want..
for that i regret..
we shall take it like nth happened then...
apologies for my guts...
but i dont want you to see my tears...

and i dont want to rob your smile...
all the best and take cares....
=)

2007-02-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

dammit... hit me before i knew it...

... hit me again...

i get up

...hit me harder once more...

wasted my time, get out of my life, get out of my face,
best of all, get out of my sight...

it stinks... no doubt.. well it doesnt really matters..
cause if thats how its gonna be.. den let it lie..
shant put anything there den..

i'm done with it anyway...
just wasted more time thats all...
why do i even bother...

2007-02-19T23:43:00.001+08:00

"how can something so right be soo wrong"
ever heard of this catch phrase?
yea, not only heard of it, its seaping right into my live

i asked myself, what is the ONE thing that i put first in my life,
the answer would be the one politicaly-right-undeniable-role-model one

but if i take that away and assume all laws being lifted up,
going beyond my wildest and most secret desire, i've un-becomed the person i percieved i am...

i start to wonder, am i correct about the way i feel?
could it be just me?
is the sitaution really what i thought it was?
how many times have you been betrayed by it...
why do u keep giving it another chance?
what do you really want?

and i think i'm still right...
YES
Y E S
Y E S

u're the one i've decided on.. u shall be the last one i ever think off..
i wont allow myself to say otherwise..
cause the thought of u has always put a smile on my face..

u've got my heart.. and u know it..
its for you to fill or burst,
break or bury,
or wear as jewelry,
which ever :) prefer..

coz my hopes are so high that :) kiss would kill me
so would :) kill me?
so i'll die happy...

u've heard it b4...
now its true..

2007-01-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

nothing really matters anymore...

dont give a *hoot*

just walking away now...

its funny how boybands can satisfy emo'ness...

listening to "no more" by A1

like the part where it goes "i'v got one foot out the door, i don want to hear about him no more "

its like nothing is invarient anymore.. wadever...

lets talk about something else now..
was in the bus.. thinking of stuff... does the weather play apart for good day to come true?
or mood plays a big part?
hah.. saw some jc ppl in the bus just now..

phew i was glad i wasnt in their shoes.. dunno why...

alright... the real stuff starts now!!!!

i dont know what to say... she's still here inside my heart...
its funny...

i saw an old couple going up the bus today...
its like i realised... love aint abt giving rings and presents...
but being there when all glory's gone...
like just to grow old with each other...

i think thats what i want... to grow old with you...
to take care of you..
to hold your hands in all walks u'll be in...
to sit down at the park and watch the grand children running all over the place...

haha.... silly me...

2007-01-22T09:45:00.000+08:00

arghh.. time now, 0945, lesson starts at 1000...

wadever...

why do things have to get soo uncomfortable as it gets brighter..
just wished that things can go back to the start,
like the way it first began...

the first encounter we had..

the first words you said..

the first love you gave..

the first promises you made..

and most of all... (you know)

=) TAKE ME BACK TO THE START>>>

2007-01-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

Do you remember in kindergarten,how you'd meet a kid, and know nothing about them, then 10 seconds later you'd be playing like you were best friends, because you didn't have to be anyone but yourself?

well.. talking to you feels like that =)

2007-01-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

Stranger to myself: so hows your day?
Myself: hmmm alright...

Guess its a matter of time gal.. its going down.. sorry babe.. just not the time for you, and for me...

i dont know how to put this in words... but i never once said anything without meaning it over the phone...

wats charms me more than angel is u are....

i cant let that go on anymore..

i cant drown in you anymore...

not for you, not for me...

its painful for my flesh... but i gotta do it.. not living in my flesh anymore.. but throught the spirit... i know i was wrong.. but its so hard to get outta it...

"the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"

you make me weak girl (i love it) , but that aint good for any of us...

forgive me for not telling u on the phone...

maybe someday it'll come...

i'll be missing out on my sugar.. coz i have diabeties if u havent noticed..

rmb: "wounds of a diabetic dont heal that soon"
-> infact, it might never heal..

so baby, careful where u spill your sugar...

you always sound soooo sweet....
u're right, this aint the season..
and now.. i really know...
(10-15 yrs time?)
i dont know....

;-) smiles always.....

2007-01-12T20:11:00.000+08:00

i was lofting ard on blogs and i came across one kinda interesting entry..

she says ten ways that you can be sure that a girl (maybe her onli) is comfortabe around you..

#1. she actually eats infront of you (not nibble. and talk with her mouth full)
#2. she hits you (i get that alot though)
#3. makes fun of you infront of you
#4. becomes extremely silly when you're around (but it think thats cute)
#5. can have un-awkard silence that goes one forever (my personal favourite though)
#6. lets you see her without make-up/not dressed up/messed up hair (u still look pretty though)
#7. shows you her bad mood (thats what i'm here for)
#8. sings when you're around
#9. knows how horrible she is as a person (trust me gal, i'm far worst)
#10. am not nice to you (having you nice to me was never my object)

some ways you know you're more than a friend

#1. i talk to you on the phone at really odd hrs
#2. i sing (with an ugly face/emo voice)
#3. i do really unadequet stuff that i dont dare to mention over here
#4. when we dont talk but gets messages accross
#5. tell you stuff that onli you know (usually you'll be shocked)
#6. tells you that you are special..

STRANGER TO HIMSELF: what are you doing? dont hurt yourself k?
HIMSELF TO STRANGER: but it feels like a relief.... help me...

2007-01-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

its sooooo long since i blogged.... maybe its true.. this place is meant for entries with emo'ed flavours...

oh well... i really dont know wat to say... things are all happening in such a... GRRR dont know wat to say... oh well...

i'm happy...

yupp.. thats true though....

i'm also feeling a sting of uncertainty... but i'm feeling so sure that everythings all "divinly-sorted" in the hands of those that were peirced for my sake...

but i'll still smile.. cause i know u are with me...

let me loose everything but you daddy =)
you're just all i need...

2006-12-22T11:24:00.000+08:00

when pain becomes so excruciating....
when blame becomes so inevitably clear...
when everything just falls apart...
when crying aint enough anymore...

a point where eyes dont shed tears...
but a punctured heart streaming out the crying responsibility of the eyes...

maybe the onli way to get out
just smile all the pain away....

(its not aboutt me, i'm all about you)

2006-12-12T10:29:00.000+08:00

lol, doesnt it looks super old school?

2006-12-12T10:04:00.000+08:00

"although i smile when there's sunshine, but it is not the sun that makes me smile, its YOU"

"you lift me up from my fears and shame, raise my soul from the grave"

"More smiles please!!! dont waste it on saddness...."

"If you keep asking me i'll melt away in summer airs"

"just wanna hear you whisper fresh sweet-nothings from above again =)"

"hunted by your goodness and mercies... so fresh your sweetness =)"

"If looks could kill, you'll be dead by now"

"Pretty girl is suffering when he confesses everything...."

2006-12-08T20:35:00.000+08:00

If u want a HUG, i'll spread my ARMS
If u want a KISS, i'll close my EYES
If u wanna hold my HAND, i'll hold YOURS first XD

How dark can the sky get?
How rough can the ocean roll?
How strong can the winds blow?
How long will your reply take?

The answers doesnt matter as long as theres a smile from you XD

2006-12-05T23:22:00.000+08:00

hoping for the BEST just hoping NOTHING happens

a thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

I will never ASK, if U never TELL me

I KNOW YOU WELL

ENOUGH TO KNOW YOU

NEVER LOVE ME

i stayed WRECK & JEALOUS for this

for this SIMPLE REASON I;

just need to KEEP YOU in MIND

as something LARGER THAN LIFEEEEE

courtersey of: -takingbacksunday

cute without the 'e'

2006-12-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

yea, finisher of not 42km but 21.5km!!!! WAHAHAHA....

and i saw an ANGEL walk past me today.... uh-huh.... she knows ;-)

finally... ikea is such a nice place.. as in the tampines one...

urghhh lousy entry...
very tired...
legs gone...
thighs aching... real bad....

tired......

2006-12-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

There's smth in your smile... That puts my heart at ease.. It says "i'm happy" or "i'm fine" but what is it trying to tell me? i wanna noe...

2006-12-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

so what happened?
she fell, they posed, i took the picture...
hahahahahahahah

i like DAT =)
if onli i could call you babe =)

2006-11-27T17:50:00.000+08:00

for such a so long, i've never blog when i'm in a good mood...

=)

niways.. just came back from a jog, reallie long one... haha.. (uh-huh) i'm aware that it was raining.. gosh, it was fun.. though i'm worried that i might fall sick but i rmb that i'm the righteosness of christ =)

i wished i knew how far i ran.. oh well.. sunday is D-Day.. gosh, 21.5km..

gotta pull through...

now, i'm burnt(face and back), braiseD and blistered (on my BUTT!)
thanks to rowing from kallang to east coast..

damn, re-enacting "saving private ryan" with the dragonboats at east coast was amusing... with the leadership of LT Denis... hmmmm *rubbish*

2006-11-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

i soo belive that i'm a pro at breaking my own heart.. i think that if theres anything that i'm best at, yeap, its breaking my own heart...

as a matter of fact, nobody breaks my heart apart for myself.. i choose to be heartbroken.. its my fault that i allow myself to go through those bloody emotional torment!! the same bloody torment that came from different ppl..

damn... as if i'm a "heart-broken-thirsty" vampire that cant help but suck on my emotional pain... as if it doesnt take long to heal this pain, i hurt myself again b4 i'm completely healed...

maybe hurting my heart is the only way to heal it?
i dont know....

since i self proclaim myself to be a pro, here are some tips to help you get heart broken too...

TIP #1
always put your full emmotions into something that doesnt give a damn about you...
this will give you the best stinging effect when the truth sets in...

TIP #2
expect to get something from the one YOU love... and dream of the best case scenario.. cause if it doesnt come.. YEAP, BINGO...

damn... and to think that you're just scared that it might hurt me, ITS HURTING ME MORE TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME KNOW!!!

nothing hurts more than being in the dark..
but i'll still wear a smile..
cause i know what goes on...

i'll just bite my tongue and keep those words... =)

LORD, MY HEART IS BROKEN NOW...
ITS A POINT WHERE I HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE ANYMORE...
CAUSE A BROKEN-HEART IS ALL I HAVE.

I KNOW YOU MADE THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH
I KNOW YOU DIED OUT OF LOVE FOR ME
I KNOW YOU ALSO DIED WITH A BROKEN HEART (which can never compare to what i'm going through)

NOW LORD, TAKE WHAT IS LEFT OF MY HEART, HELP ME FIX IT CAN?
HELP ME RENOVATE IT, FORTIFIED IT WITH GREAT AND THICK WALLS THAT I CAN GUARD IT AGAINST ALL TROUBLE.. SET UP POST, SO THAT ANGELS CAN BE THERE TO SEE WHATS COMING TO ATTACK... LET MY HEART BE A STRONGHOLD THAT CAN NEVER BE INFANTRATED..

A HEART THAT IS AFTER YOU ALONE..
I PRAISE =)

2006-11-06T20:50:00.000+08:00

Hold me and never let me go..
let me feel what i have to feel...
i hate to cry i dont wanna go...

aniways... yeap, i've been less angry with myself alrdy.. thnks ppl for being there.. u know who you are..

yea, u're right.. its not the wall's fault that i've been knocking myself into it.. i'm sick of the cycle of always looking for walls to lean on, to boost my esteem.. perhaps thats why i knock into wall after wall..

NOTE: to all the walls the i've knocked into, "i'm really sorry". its not your fault, and i guess i've really childish to blame you all for being there..

but now the only solution is to aviod walking into anymore walls... sorry, i dont mean to make a big round now just to get to my destination, but i'm afraid that if i ever get to near to any wall, i might just knock into it.. and get your paint damaged..and worst, get my emotions injured and bleed again.. yea, for every scar on my heart, theres a wall somewhere scratched..

and yes, i scratched them after i found myself bleeding

its not their fault for being there..

i dont wanna knocked into any walls anymore... daddy, pls help me...

you said u love me dad, i dont know how much u do...
u said that i'm your world..

so daddy, would you stand to see your world crumble? cause i wanna know you more..

2006-10-30T20:21:00.000+08:00

Silly...

into the same hole i fell,
into the same wall i knocked..

theres not a bit different for what i went through, but execpt the magnitude of the pain inflicted again and again...

stupid...

what seem so promising came with the same way things all bad things ended...

for once, i thought that it was time and i've found what i wanted...
but yet another time, disappointment flooded me...

perhaps because i've knocked my head enough in this area, back then, for me to not do it again this time..

(I'm SOOO BLOODY WRONG)

thats the reason for me crying out here again...

i think i have enough,
but think again, i'm glad too...

coz i just realised that i was a victim of being a number in ones popularity..

i have enough..
u want popularity,
go else where.. dont phunk with me..

i will not stand to be where i'm not wanted...

2006-10-15T11:02:00.000+08:00

You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
I could get used to this

You think I look the best
When my hair is a mess
I can't believe you exist
I could get used to this

Because I know you're too good to be true
I must have done something good to meet you

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this

You love the songs I write
You like the movies I like
There must be some kind of twist
But I could get used to this

You kiss me listen to me when I'm depressed
It doesn't seem to make you like me less

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this

If there's a dark side to you I haven't seen it
Every good thing you do feels like you mean it

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
And I could get used to this

(And because of this, SHE smiled)

her smiles makes my heart on HIGH =)
cya tml!!

2006-10-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

i've given up, on giving up slowly...

i kinda made a promise to myself..
i told myself never to be sad again..
never to fall into the stench of melancholic..

i dont wanna lick my wound and eat some worms..
jesus pls help me..
i wanna be this emmotionally so stable guy who is able to see your grace in my life..

i wanna look at my situation saying "truly i'm delivered by God, beyond the shadow of any doubt"

....selah.....

you are my strength,
oh whom my hands are so small to..
i'm weak but u are strong..

lord, i cant but to let you hold my hand..
my hands are of little strength,
but mighty is yours..
i commit the little i have within mine into yours...

take my hand, and bring me out of this TODAY!!!

thanks =)

2006-10-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

if u want to hug me, i'll spread my arms...

if u want to kiss me, i'll close my eyes...

if u want to hold my hand, i'll hold yours first..

untill the day i die, i spill my heart for you baby...

2006-09-29T23:17:00.000+08:00

silly, its weird.. who did i live my life for???
who's apraisal have i been seeking??
who's voice really matter to me??

this really shocked me as i began to ask myself...
is it really GOD that i ran after??

coz if it is.. den why do the sting of rejection still have effects on my flesh?
damn...

but thank GOD that repentence is the changing of mind...

lord, i wanna run for u alone...
even if the world crashes i know u will be there...

coz whos gonna cry when you fall...
whos gonna be there when u sink...

but thanks..
u've always been there...
=)

2006-09-28T15:38:00.001+08:00

thanks joe, i know u were tired but u still made an effort to blade with me...

funny.. didnt knew that the route we actually missed leads us back to bedok resevior form sempang bedok.. hahah...

bladding was fun...

i'm loving it...

and ya...

i still want my fresh nothings from above lord.. thanks =)

2006-09-28T15:38:00.000+08:00

2006-09-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

the other day i walked down the path towards the MT faber restuarant, i realised that the flowers by the side was especially beautiful.. i wonder why.. but the weather was cool..

somtimes, it feels like u made everything beautiful for me.. the trees, the grass, the flowers.. the sky.. somtimes its as though you formed the clouds in the sky the way it is just to tell me a story... to say that you're watching me.. and u have made my day to turn out well...

i wanna hear your voice...

UN-numb my heart...

i wanna hear you speak fresh sweet-nothings to me again...

2006-09-26T13:25:00.000+08:00

SHE ASKED "will you still love me in the morning?"

HE SAID "forever and ever baby"

(when she left)

HE ASKED "what happen to forever and ever baby?"

SHE SAID "forever and ever just ended"

2006-09-21T23:00:00.000+08:00

hold me now, i'm six feet from the edge and i'm thinking, maybe six feet aint so far down..

"everyone is too busy pitying themselves to pity me" wat the heck is wrong with that line!!!!!

its because u want the pity for yourself so bad that u never for once stopped to bloody look at how pathetic the ppl who have shut up about themselves are...

i mean, whose the victor, u thought u are great just because u endured some bloody hardship, but havent u thought for once that your hardship was only hardship for you?? you have gone through nothing compared to those who have gone through much more than you..

theres smth that i want, i worked for it, but once the money come.. they saw it, took it off my hands and paid the bills... fair?? i have to swallow that word and say that its true??? ok den.. i shall... because thats what i have been to them right? a bloody wallet leecher????!!!??? i'm your SON DAMMIT...

so what if u are their son!!!!!????? you have done nothing to say that you deserve their money.. you merely came out from one of their wombs...

OMG theres a serious crisis here... nvm.... this blog is no longer belonging to the owner... it has taken over by a few psychotic minds.. tormented at a place called home...

if u want to see him, pls do so in real life... he is not here anymore...

2006-09-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

alright, this is my second entry here.. i'm tired, sad, disappointed, kinda melancholic... arrgh.. i dunno.. its those little foxes that spoils the vine...

slow music really feeds my mood now... haiz.. daddy, pls make the sky blue tml.. and put a smile in my heart for me pls... thanks.. i really need that..

physically, emotionally, mentally, all drained....

i wanna study 4eva..

2006-09-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

awhh.. i really missed typing on this humble little greenish window... so much to talk abt since the last time i blogged...

anyway, i really been through lots of changes in my life, ministry and family.. i feel like there's another step of un-touchability was reached...

funny, i feel that in times of melancholy, the entries that i post are far poetic then the rest.. damned.. blogging is definitely not for the vitorious and reigning side of me... thank god for blogs =)

anyway, just as i thought bring it on!!! let the lightning strike, let the wild winds blow and let the thunder roar coz i'm super invulnerable right now???

well, yea, i stood in the storm and walked accross the water... and thats great!! coz i am living as a miracle and a testimony..

but u know smth, these storms have their waves too... damn.. and will i sink when i meet a real big one? will i stand or squirm inside the water wash..

i love walking on water.. but i hate being lost, walking on water... i just got hit by a wave a really big one.. tired... stop leading me on to smth that you never want me to have... thank you god for giving me those signs =)

2006-08-22T18:55:00.000+08:00

yo yo yo!!! gotta check this out!! i've got my new blog!! its a XANGA blog http://www.xanga.com/lurvcamedown yea! amd now, i can post pictures =)

2006-08-20T21:14:00.000+08:00

ran today...(new balance real run)
now tired..
tomorrow test..
me need rest...

havents study.. arrghhh...
stares at book...
book stares back...

hope its not gonna be the same tml ya.. where the exam script stares back at me gosh... it shall not happen =)

ohh lord u search me, u know my ways...
even when i fail you,
i know you love me..

your holy prescence,
surrounding me..
in every season,
i know you love me...
i know you love me......

at the cross i bow my knee,
where your blood was shed for me..
theres no greater love than this..

you have overcome the grave,
your glory fills the highest place,
what can seperate me know...

you tore the veil, you made the way..
when u say it is done!!!!!!!!!

and so it is done.. thanks =)
i cant say more to express how much u meant to me..

but u made the way when there seems to be no way..
i thank u !!!!!! *tears* =)

2006-08-19T10:42:00.000+08:00

u gave me life, but u died for me..
u say u love me, but u died for me..
u have overcome the grave...

inseperable...

whos hands are big enough? to catch me when i fall..
i've fallen.. u rush to my aid..
picked me up, place me on your shoulders...
u love me so great, i cant be unloved..

theres no greater love than this...

at the cross i bow my knee...
u put your life down for me..
i have nothing to give accept those that u have give to me, first..

how come? i two timed u more than three times..
but u never left.. i treated u like a fool in times that i stumble..

u still pick me up...
u never let me go through it all...

another love song to you daddy...
love you =)

2006-08-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

heh... i hope i'm not going back into being
J'ish O'ish Y'ish... hmmmmm....

2006-08-17T21:28:00.000+08:00

... exams.. driving me nuts... gonna be eaten up real soon..

econs tml.. its gonna be supernatural again.. i know that.. u know that.. thanks..

the night is still young... bursting all ive got now..

noe smth babe.. if u ever see this blog.. know smth, i saw yours too... u know that i'm taking to you y.o.J. yeap =) do tag..

2006-08-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

BATTLES... everyone have them everyday of their lives... battles after battles... *battered after battles* is every battle worth fighting for???? so what if u win every battle what does it proves!??

ANS: NOTHING

i just learnt that... it only proves that you can't take defeat, you're afraid to loose... do u need to win to show that u can win? if u really can win, ppl can see that... so it doesnt matter if u win or loose.. cause the greater victor is within...

tell me wats new.. its not like i've not felt those words from u... u do it to me all the time... u wanna win? fine.. go ahead... i'm already numb from your ammunition... NUMB get it!??? NUMB!!!! NNNNUUUUMMMMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!! it hurts soo bad that i'm too hurt to feel how it feels to be hurt already... i dont know wat its like not to feel hurt.. its painful... sick of it already...

show me some light soon abba daddy... pls...
thankieuuuuuu =)

2006-08-08T20:28:00.000+08:00

broken, my heart was willing to bear the pain but it just prove too much..
with ever ounce of sorrow seaping into it, a york just came upon my heart, and it cant take anymore...

i put on a strong front, but no matter how it looks infront... i'm a private failure... maybe i dont even have a public success to start with... my tears eascapes from my eyes, running past my ears, are now soaked in my pillow...

a lump of unexplained uncomfortablility stayed rooted into my throat... i was in pain... i cried myself to sleep.. hoping that when the sun rises the next day all this would be gone again...

i was right.. i wore my armor and was out putting a brave front.. to be a public success again....

2006-08-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

Fwhoooooo!!! guess who's back the this green throne agian!!! wahahah...
lets see, Highlights??? hmmm, a lot lor...

ICA3 oral com, gosh, i realised i cant say rectum cancer without laughing.. hmmm sorry william, u seemed light not amused at all.. whhahah nvrm... wat abt dragon boat? dont i love it a lot? yeah!!! i still do, and i'm gonna love it more man... working towards two things now, eh, opps, i meant 3!!!!!

First, ABS!!! yeah =)

Second, REGATTA, or who ever u spell it la.. its in nov, after the exams.. (of course exams i also woking towards also lar)

Thirdly, hmmmm PENANG RACE!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHH i so wanna go for that man!!!!
ARHHHHH!!!!!!! ahahahhahahaha

OKAY.... saddening, i finally came back to blog but gotta go soon,
cya my green hulk strong hold... hahahah

2006-07-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

heh...
heart of the stronghold???

wats this suppose to be? a place of solace??
wats suppose to be found in the most secret of this stronghold...
am i even a stronghold?

it feels like i'm crumbling... like i have no more strengh left...
the walls are weaken by the oncoming of emmotional assault...
but again, emmotions are of no brains...
emmotions dont make who i am...

i am the son of the most high.. the one that a person so great would lay down his life for...
who am i? that bright and morning star, would care to know my name, from this ever wondering world...

not because of who i am,
but because of what u've done at the cross...

you took the wreck that i am and imputed ever shit that i ever was into yourself...
u made yourself look bad that i may look good...

why?? have we ever met? u knew me before i even know u...
u who have died for me knew that i never was worthy to have died for..
yet u still did it.. would a man die to save an ant?
let alone a god who die for me...

i cant.. only u can... lets meet.. i dont wanna wait anymore..
let us meet, at the stronghold, where u embrace me like a father to a child...
i'm your child, the one u love...

to be at the heart of the stronghold...
this is where i belong... =)

2006-07-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

damned... what if u dont see tml?? but thats not the sad thing...
i dont want to wake up to find someone that i see everyday missing...
when i wake up, i see u asleep,
when u wake up, i leave the hse,
when i come back, u're still at work,
when u came back, i'm asleep...

but theres one thing in common...
we never get to see the hse from inside the house...

maybe thats why both of us find it so hard to connect...
strangely, all this things that we do, we do it for each other...
but is this the thing that both of us yearn badly?

......
funny, i feel so melancholic these days.. sheesh...
i know i'm not suppose to...
but i cant.. its this disgusting self-pity'risation kicking to me lately...

if only i have the power,
i would take all the pain you have,
put it inside me,
so just to be in hope of u smiling...

dont worry, just give it to me,
coz i will smile with u,
as long as u smile,
no pain can steal mine away...

u take my breath away!!!!!!

2006-07-13T22:58:00.000+08:00

I've done everything as you say
I've followed your rules without question
I thought it would help me see things clearly
But instead of helping me to see
I look around and it's like I'm blinded

Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
I don't understand what you want from me

I feel like I'm spinning out of control
Try to focus but everything's twisted
And all along I thought you would be there
THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE THERE!!!!!
To let me know I'm not alone
But in fact that's exactly what I was!!!!!

I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery

Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me

Is it a mystery?

nvm, JUST F.O.(fuck off) !!!!!!!

2006-07-07T16:38:00.000+08:00

yea!!!! got my com back up... kinda miss this expierience of blogging at home... so much has happen... so much has been left out...

gotta admit, dreaming is easier than getting it done.. 1st and 2nd july finally came.. i lost my virginity race... haha... i'm no more a virgin to dragon boat races... =( thats not the only thing i "lost"... didnt won any important medals... instead, got 3rd in some lame TEAM ELIAS!!! arrghhh

life?? great??? ok.. not that bad... yo, have u ever like get to this place where u wanted to get to so badly!!??? coz u thought that once u got to this place.. you will be happy right?? but when i finally did.. it isnt wat i expected... hmmm...

alright alright... how about this.. another anology:
Your hands were holding a few KITES... but there's a particular kite that is tied to your finger and is hurting you.. so u try to untie this little knot so that u can hold it on your hand... but while doing so, you accidentally lost the rest of the kites.. including the one that u were trying to untie... gosh!!!!!! to make it worst, just as u were morning for your lost kites, a passer-by came and said.. "you should've charish wat you had" but do u think that passer-by care?? he just wanna give his piece of justification... quick to react with his toungue... but does he know that i didnt want to let go of any of these kites?? no!!!! he doesnt.. all he sees is that i wanna get rid of one kite.. not try to ease the knot... but the truth is that i still want that kite... haiz...

i wanna feel the wind to soar above all these crap... YOU who control the winds, pls help me.. i cant mount.. my wings are too long and heavy.. they arnt meant to flap... so help me!!! u gave me these wings so now provide me with the wind.. coz my wings are useless without your wind...

BE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS PLS!!!!

2006-06-06T10:42:00.000+08:00

AARGHHHH hmmm sobz... my com down... me feel down too... nevertheless... i still prvail with my school's com.. now blogging during web lessons... ahhhhhhh so, without to do, i shall bring you into the highlights of my life...

firstly.. dragon boating has become more of a part of me... everything i see.. i see a dragon in it.. KDL and I has came out with a few dragonboat tag lines... these words are too frequetly said during t they go like that...

From the captian:
1. Ok back pack, give me 3 strokes forward/backward
2. Paddles UP , up(we echo back)
3. Leg kick Body pull!!!!
4. Lon-ger, Lon-ger(echo back)
5. OK GUYS ARE YOU READY FOR TEN HARD!!!!
6. EIGHT... NINE... TEN AH STRECH OUT!!!!!!!

but of all, this is our favourite...

7. In this world, theres only two types of ppl: those who want, and those who dont want, for those who want, everything is possible.

From the coach:

1.Ni Men Hen Zhu De Leh...
(Translation: you all very pig)

2.See Nang MPA
(Damned those MPA... MPA is some marine police)

3.I very hot ah...
(when he's angry)

yupp... these are the few lines that we find very amusing... hahahaha

2006-05-31T11:44:00.000+08:00

MARCIA= the baby i dont have... haha... yesterday, fought with nani over her... gosh, didnt even know how into that situation haha;... nani sorry... but marcia needs a real man... haha... haiz.. now nothing to do.. also dont know wat to do.. later gotta go and be the official for some captain ball challenge... whahah... freeloading off the free excess lab.. but cant play dota.. arrrghhh yawnz... i want to be in the DRAGONBOAT TEAM!!!!!!! wahhahahahaah sorry bloggie.. me no time to blog... hmmm... damned.. dengling is like bloody next to me now lar... shit.. next time ten blog somemore.. whahaha

2006-05-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

hey.. wassup man, competition's comin and we're still not ready yet.. haiz.. kinda rough day today for training coordination on land... seniors jia you... its alright.. i think u all did great man... NYP ALL OUT!!!!!! hahaah.... excieted abt the race.. wahahaha

2006-05-22T23:50:00.000+08:00

awwhhhh... didnt have time to blog.. my life is like, training, study, training, more study, church and more training, BB and more training... sorry my blog.. haha... yeah... so, welcome to my life... training training training training... =) yawnz... maybe its a wrong time to blog.. coz i dont feel like blogging... but blogged for the sake of blogging... hmmm...

didnt go school today... got fever, and eye infection... but didnt get a chance to go online too... geez... boring, spent whole day doing nothing but push ups .... yawnz... kk sleeping time... =)

2006-05-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

haiz... dunno wats wrong with this blog man... just cant seem to post any pictures!!!! arrghhhh (macho claps) *angrily*

yeah!!!! ICA oral com finally over... by the way... wat ever i shared was onli half true ok?? hahaha.... but was glad that it sounded convincing... sheesh, kah hui, your sharing really rocked my emotions man.. luckily u never go on or i would cry lar.... but wat u say is really true... we should charis the friends we have coz u never know when u are gonna lose them... wah... everybody suddenly look so glamourous today... whahahaha.... sw so sexy u look like whooooo!!!!!!!

2006-05-16T11:10:00.000+08:00

The best way to stay awake is to not pay attention!!!!!
and its widely agreeable by the dudes and dudettes in the class...
the lectural's voice was like a lullaby... only that theres no melody... whahaha

now in computer lab....
sitting moments away from my ica later..
very nervous...
everyone wearing formal wear...
we've go car salesman(dengling), CEO(marcia), principal(jeslyn)and many more...
gosh... we also got a drunk desperado (ardvin) wahahahaha hmmm, i think i still look a little hip-hop after desperate efforts to look formal still...

oh man, the room is cold... now trying out fronpage... dunno wat to do...

2006-05-14T18:36:00.000+08:00

haha... almost kana 50puss-up by coach for not bring water bottle botter -_-"... i didnt knew that indoor was so damn near from the SDBA lar!!! haha.. it onli took me 5 mins to get there by foot... and yar.. today i had rowing again!!! yea!!! i gonna have rowing ever sat and sun!!! and like i said:" rowing is the best thing that ever happened to me ever since i came to NYP lar!!!" haha and because of that line, i "earned" "points" with my dragon boat female team seniors... wahahahaha

ouch... my face feels a lil burn and my but is super pain man... hahaha poor taufik(my senior) he already had blisters on his butt from rowing lar!!! hahaha.. of well... shucks man... ICA for oral come gonna come.. have not start anything on it yet... wonder wat to do... lol

hmmm.. today i was sitting down in the bus i realised two revelutionary get rich scheme.. whaha... 1# to make cool clothes for ppl without cool figure... 2# to popularise hairstyles that are not taken over from celebrities... hmmm can it ever be done? i wonder.. haha..

2006-05-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that YOU MEANT IT,
THAT YOU MEANT IT!!!!!!
and I knew,
that you meant it,
you meant it........

2006-05-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow morning if you wake
up and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here

2006-05-11T23:19:00.000+08:00

wahh shiok man today was abs enduerence training... man, the coach sure did have loads of ways to make the abs strain man... wahahah... now its like all over aching lar... wahaha... oh and pls.. i really did not felt my lower abs.. really, i tried my best but just did not felt it.. instead, it was my tigh lar.. haha den he like made fun of me: "pls make sure that its the correct muscle unlike somebody there" but its ok.. i understand now.. haiz

geez.. i was late yesterday... hmmm its so unfair.. i came in only two minutes after the bloody grace period lar... wats the big deal.. anyway she was still marking attendence lor... so wat the big idea man... sheesh... there goes one demerit point i guess.. haha... well who's gain for MI3????? come'on... the last show really suck lar.. haha this time watch something better lar... Ooo yea.. wah.. i really need to run much more man... i slacked for half a week and i'm so off-form today lar... hmmm maybe also due to the big blister under my feet today ah.. haha geez, shant play soccer at the basketball court anymore...

2006-05-10T20:32:00.000+08:00

thanks.. i think i'm able to move on now.. its a new chapter that i have to face... and i definitely need lots of grace for the past few chapters on my life..

i suddenly lost the meaning of the letter 'A' in my life.. coz 'A' used to stand for Aaron.. but den.. it did not really equate for a while... it did not stand for Aaron.. it stand for somone else... coz when ever the letter 'A' comes to my mind.. i can only write that name.. that hauted my mind... yes, its tragic.. but still, it occured.. as much as she dont want it, i dont want it too....

thankfully, i have this place to pour out these torns that pricked my heart... anyway.. as painfull as it is, that was the past... its long forgotten i hope... i need this strength to overcome this stagnent stage... gosh, i felt like i have not grown at all!!! it feels like i'm stuck hoping for the fantesy to happen... but thats soo damned loser'ish...

i need you lord... i really need u... u're the one who delivered me from my exams, from my heart breaks, u're the one who have shown me numerous financial breakthrough.. pls lord.. this is the most painful crush that i have.. i need u to take it off me... i dont want this.. pls... i had enough!!!!! who can love me without any condition... who would lay his life down for me.. who would disociate himself from a high class company just to save a low class person like me??? who would take all my shame and counted it upon himself!!!! c'mon... jesus... pls, take this THORN out of my heart and fill me with u lord...

where are those days where i flowed so well with u?? i want it back so badly.. coz i felt so invulnerable back then for u were with me... i did not had to seek love anywhere else.. but why am i so hungry for it now??? i dont wanna be a sucker for love... i want u lord!!! i want u....

BRING IT ON... let me be yours!!!!!

2006-05-10T00:25:00.000+08:00

arrghhhh my foot just lost one big piece of skin!!!! damned gonna meant that i cant ran for a while now... hmmmm so if today is going to the last day how am i gonna live it... sheesh never thought of that.. haha...

wah lao... wat ever u do, dont ever go watch "when stranger calls" its a complete total waste of time lar!!!!! its sooo draggy... with the time spent watching on it, i bet tom cruise could have done a better job... hmm steven curtis chapman... wow.. he's definitely a new eye opener manz... seriously lar... haha...

haiz.. dunno lar.. sorry TTX i dont know wats wrong.. kinda lost the tolerant side of me... i hope u understand but if u dont i wont blame u... anyway, i was kinda insensitive to something that u belive so strongly in.. i should have spare some respect for your views.. sorry... come to think about it, i would have also been really pissed off if someone said something bad just because he stopped beliving in it... sorry... perhaps i need to find a space where i can really grow.. i feel that i've really been a failure in that area... and have been more an more disappointed ever since... worst still i dont want them to suffer under somebody who do not even wanna be there... u're good at it.. i dont think i am... maybe one day i might be better at BB"ing... and i will definitely belive in it again... TINGZ.. thanks for understanding =)

2006-05-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

WoooHOOOOOOo finally i can come online... geez backz from TFC3 man.. that was the wildest adventure i ever had lar... thanks the to six amigos (kai, philias, randall, sunny and crazy june's bf) whahaha... man the jungle bashing was insane lar.. it was as if adventure is never complete without going through wat the six amigos went through lar!!! haha we had lots of fun really.. haha

2006-05-01T10:50:00.000+08:00

Lord i thank you, for your sacrife!!!
yes Lord i thank you,
you are the giver of my life!!!
oh Lord i praise you, i honour you!!!

Lord i love you, my exceeding great reward,
oh yes Lord i exalt you,
you are high and lifted up,
oh Lord i praise you, i honour you!!!

i honour you...

2006, Ronnie Lew, New Creation Church®

2006-04-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

sometimes... i wish i could just act as if i dont know anthing.. i wish i can just be someone niave.. someone who doesnt know anything.. doesnt feel anything.. who doesnt get attached to feelings so easily.. but its impossible... its like superman.. but doesnt superman wish he did not have to power?? coz power with aaron is tired.. he doesnt wanna act anymore.. should he say the truth?? or just cry my way to sleep?? anyway.. it goes like this......

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird
I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd
But don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
But won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away
Away from me
It’s all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy
Or anything

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

2006-04-26T21:56:00.000+08:00

Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

wat ever... i want u well, u wish me torn...

2006-04-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

hello hello hello... hmmm now writing this blog with damn high spirits but low physics.. haha just came back from rowing at kallang... geez awesome... its like the proper way of rowing is not with your arms!!!! wow!!! never knew that... and i'm not suppose to have my arms tired!!! wahahah... but well.. it was awesome.. finally get into a boat!!! yeah

2006-04-25T11:05:00.000+08:00

i'm now in this foriegn land called(yochukang)... now having lessons... some stupid internet bluh bluh.. dont understand... kinda computer illiterate... anyway.. i really miss everyone in the east over here... E.T. wanna go home =( geez.. how are u doing there??? east"iest OEAYYYYYYYYYY

2006-04-22T20:10:00.000+08:00

is getting back at me really gonna work??? why? break me because i broke u?? broke you because u dont even have a whole to start with?? because of u?????? so now wat? hurt me to unhurt yourself... why?? the reason why u were hurt was because u once loved, but have your love turned into hate?? does hating bring back the love u wanted? u wanted love but it is gone... so now destroy so that this love could never be given to anyone again???

geez... another war being fought in another galaxy... "i dont want any love anymore"... love is best given with no expectancy of having it back in return... the truth is.. it never does return... its a form of giving... an unconditional love is the most powerful love... love because u were loved and be loved because u had love?? izzint that a cycle... who cares... wadever... it feels like i'm crumbling inside... how can i show that its true..?? its the inside thats falling... its so painfull in the inside... the worst way to kill is to kill the root first... den the rest will fall into place soon...

hopefully it will be over soon... i know it will... but the scars will never change... just wondering when will the love come back again...

2006-04-17T21:03:00.000+08:00

have u ever wondered how much can u take before u let all your ego out?? or like when will u put your foot down and say "thats the final straw!!! i wont take it anymore??".. ttx said that my ego was v.low... or even no ego... but is that good??? like wheres the backbone of a man in me...

why do keep going back knowing that you dont want my help... why do i stick my hand out knowing that it will be hacked and pushed away... why do i wanna help so much even sacrificing a friend that was close for you when you dont even want to acknowledge this friendship anymore... you kept insisting that i'm seeing her.. and she is not even with me!!!! she's like schooling so far and worst of all!!! she's your good friend!!! she cares for u Too!!!! why????? i did not belive that u were spiking me and i'm still in doubt... i will not belive that u will spike me... but my heart breaks seeing wat u've done... do u really hate me so much??? so if its me that u hate den why do u hurt yourself??? is that the best way to get back at me??? u know that he's attached.. u know he will manipulate you... we've been a victim... and so wat if u accept his "love".. u know that he should not in the first place... by "loving" him back... u're actually supporting his past manipulation acts..

u say that i dont care... yes!!! u're right... i dont care if i get hurt anymore.. pls... dont get any closer to him... leave him... there are many others out ther... u dont need to force yourself... pls... haiz... i even promised to not talk to her.. to never meet her.. i'll even vanish so that u will never feel hurt by me if ever there shall be any chance.... there wont... but pls... i just need you to stop going closer to him... pls???

2006-04-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

alright alright.. i had a crush on her.. but that was so long ago...
anyway.. i told her(jean) that i did not like her anymore... but she did not belive... so i said, "why cant u belive!!!!" and she went.. "why do u make it so easy!!!??" den i could hold back no longer but i went "it never had been easy!!!".. well it was totally irrelevent but it sounded really like the show "LOST" haha....

to my friend that i'm loosing...

2006-04-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

i know u are reading this... pls... dont do this to me anymore... i still want you to be my friend.. to be the way we used to be.. to share the joys the sorrows.. the way where we talk our way till we feel so gay... c'mon... pls dont be like that... no matter wat... u'll always be my friend.. so pls.. dont change it... pls... sorry (chy)

2006-04-13T15:46:00.000+08:00

baby, would u come to me?
so that i can just maybe breathe?
although u and me, aint so satisfied, i can try to just make it right...

so wat if its me dat you dont crave...
coz its u that makes me daze...
as my days goes by, my heart slowly dies, from being inmuned to your pretty eyes..

even if theres poison on your lips,
i'll still be there first for your kiss..
it might be the last goodnight, but i dont mind, coz i'll be happy in my sleep...

now come to me or just kill me...
coz either way i will still die!!!!
at least now, we're both satisfied...

i really wonder...

2006-04-13T15:08:00.000+08:00

arghhh heart trobbing... so much thoughts, dunno how to express... have u ever got into a situation where u like somebody but u dont want to like that person??? as in, u know there can never be happy ending and u know that it will never happen but still, you feel so much for her... that really sucks...

another friend once said :"if u really love that person, you ought to treat her well". Well, yea.. thats what i've been doing.. and to say the truth, its really satisfying to see her smile, laugh and happy... but deep down, it really hurts coz u know that u can neve be with her.. that u can only get so far... but so wat if i'm with her... does that mean that i ought to love her more?? cant i love her even more just as we are?? but she doesnt know that i love her... she shall never know.. coz if she does, she will go as far as she can from me... and that will break me even more... but loving her is about being the best for her... to be there waiting for her if she falls.. to standby, to be her backup... all these can be done with the word "friendship" in disguise.. so should i tell her that i love her?? coz we're both now happy.. but if she doesnt love me back.. i'll loose everything that i have come so far... perhaps its better for it to just remain one sided.. coz after all.. i love her.. and loving her is not about taking from her but giving... i may not be the best.. but i'll be just like the rest... (just an ordinary friend)

2006-04-11T21:49:00.001+08:00

geez... i'm seriously under going blessings after blessings lar.... its like good things happen one after another lar... alright... and i really praise god coz i'm sure its surely gods' love manifested in my life!!!!

blessing #1: at the place that i work at, there's this guy that shows attitude to everyone that he sees, and he's known for his "easily pissed of and so u must suffer" tempremant... to make things worst, i had to work three days straight at the restuarant with him!!!!! but here comes the weird part, because i'm still kinda rookie at this job, and he's like the pro lar... so of course he did not really tolerate my ineffieciency, but these three days, he did not give me any problem lar!!! he even guided me and helped me in a caring way when i seemed to be tired off by carry some heavy stuff... he even like asked :hey, eat slowly, theres more food coming out, and even asked me repeatedly if i'm full... gosh

Blessing #2: well this one is rather satisfying... alright, because of the entertainment value that i wish to also intergrate into this blog, the contents of wat lead to this blessing shall be written as followed...

ENCOUNTER #1: it was friday BS and before that, i just had $100 from my dad(one of the good things that had happened this week. anyway, i was looking for a bag, probably a lecoq sprtif bag... and so i went looking ard with TINGzzz and VANzz but i wasnt really settled to buy it coz of the size of the bag that did not fit me... anyway, later that night, i meet up with CRYYSTAL and so happened that she also had a liking for a specific bag that was quite similar to the Lecoq sportif bag... it was NIKE... BLACK and LIMEGREEN... but because of timing, i onli managed to see the bag but did not buy it..

ENCOUNTER #2: its a sunday this time, i was with MARTINA after service... i also told her that i wanna buy bag, and again, being nice as she is, she followed me to check out some bags at royal(lecoq sportif)... but it wasnt really satisfying still... den later we go see the bag that cryystal showed me... hmmm.. well, its was still ok lar... coz i didnt have time and my money has not really come in yet... well but i felt that the bag was nicer this time coz it has nice features at the sides...

ENCOUTER #3: its Tuesday.. shopping day... Me, VANzzz and MARTINAzz went to orchard... both patient friends were very kind to give me pointers wether the bag looks good or not... so we went to every possible place that have LeCoq Sportif bag and i realised that either it is too big, the colour is too loud or it just look a bit gal... den i rmb the bag that i saw on friday... both of them have not seen me in it and gave comments yet... so we went down to heeren as thats the onli nikeshop(fasion type) available.. so we went down... but the bag was no where to be seen.. i asked the assistant onli to have him point to a guy(hate him) holding it, meddling with it, and later paying for it... frantic, i asked the asst. if thats the last piece... and it was!!! it was the display piece, and he said that the bag was available to onli 80 pieces in singapore!!!! aRRGHHHH den he said, 'OK, let me go upstairs to check, there might be one more there" i waited, and waited, and looked at other bags for a while... den he came down, IT WAS BRAND NEW!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i got the last bag at the store and IT WAS BRAND NEW!!!! OOOOO MAN!!!! thats like the sweetest thing i ever had lar!!!!

2006-04-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

ARHHHHHHH

2006-04-08T09:51:00.000+08:00

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape

OMG!!! this stupid song is bloody stuck in my head!!! its like wat the heck lar!!! i cant get it out... and i will put it as my ring tone when i get my SLVR L7 man!!!!!

close.. but too far...

2006-04-08T09:37:00.000+08:00

damned... i was so bloody close to getting my Motorola SLVR L7!!!!
haiz.. its too agonising to re-live this painful expeirence...
oh well... just gotta belive that god have better plans for me abt my phone...

anyway, went for BS with my well-missed DARE friends... gosh pastor lawrence was charged man!!! he's like "pastor Lawrence: reloaded/full trottle" or wadever... geez its so true that it does not matter wat we do cause the battle is not mine but its the Lords.. so we have to rest in him!!! so seriously lord.. from now on, i'm giving it up to you man... i'm giving up.. all up... for although i will work, but it shall not be my effort to see me through!!! it shall be your finished work man!!!

Genesis 1:1

2006-04-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

yea, i've got this up man.. and now, u all can read my blog...
credits?? alright alright... AVANNA TAN and MARTINA both helped me...
so i might be ABIT computer iddiot...

anyway... all you beloved fwens.. i realised even though all of us go "tp", my "tp"(tammY polytechnic) is kinda far away... however i dont wanna feel as far away as my school are to yours.. so, i shall keep my adventures/scandals/escapades/crimefighting etc. posted over here... so we wont miss out on each others'lives!!!! MuAhAhAha!!!!!

and if ever the last item of my agenda(tHE mAstER plAn) ever occur b4 meeting those seemingly requirements above, it shall then be called AN ADVENTURE!!!! lol

heh

2006-04-04T11:16:00.000+08:00

geez... i got finally got this blog up.... hmmm i'm not much of a computer iddiot after all... muahhahahaha